Wholesome Talk Update & A Reality Check!


My friend Connie, over at Smockity Frocks, issued us a challenge recently.  A challenge centered around 30 Days of Wholesome Talk.  This challenge includes these top three priorities:

I will only use words that are . . .
1. helpful
2. needful 
3. beneficial

As a Christian mother, these three priorities are like second nature to me, right? WRONG!  I cannot even begin to explain the depths to which my innate sarcasm will allow me to sink.  Like a rock in the ocean, kind-of-sinking!

This challenge has been beneficial to me already, forcing me to examine each word carefully, before I use it.  Which is ironic considering I tell my children all the time to do this, and did not realize how infrequently I hold myself to the same standard.  Hmm, I guess there's the reason for me having to remind them constantly . . . they are just exemplifying my own negative behavior.  Light Bulb Moment!

Here is where this challenge has hit me the hardest:


I am beginning to see how my speech toward both of my teenagers is actually not helpful, needed, or beneficial to them as they are seeking to grow in wisdom, stature and favor with God and men.

This is hard for me to admit.  The source of the issue at hand is my heart, and not their behavior.  The iron-fist that I have continued to wield is only hurting our relationship and in-turn, threatens their spiritual growth.  

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)

"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips."
Psalm 141:3 (KJV)

I have hidden behind teaching them authority (which they have well learned to follow in my home since a young age, and needs no reinforcement), in order to push my own agenda, and get them to do and act exactly as I would want.  Sounds pretty selfish, huh?

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Reality Check.  Reflecting.  Praying.

I am spending the remaining time left in this challenge deep in prayer and reflection.  I have also picked up my Charlotte Mason education series again, and enjoying the comfort of those words as well.

"The constraining power should be present, but passive, so that the child may not feel himself hemmed in without choice. . . When it occurs to a child to reflect on his behaviour, he should have that sense of liberty which makes his good behaviour appear to him a matter of his own preference and choice."

"When we recognise that God does not make over the bringing up of children absolutely even to their parents, but that He works Himself, in ways which it must be our care not to hinder, in the training of every child, then we shall learn passiveness, humble and wise."
~ Charlotte Mason, from School Education (Developing a Curriculum) Volume 3

I guess altogether I am pleased to have opened myself up to learning from this experience and allowing the LORD to change me in this area of need.  To Jesus be all the glory and honor as He changes the heart of His saint.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)

Need some help with wholesome talk too?  Join the 30 Day Challenge over at Smockity Frocks.

Humbly Learning Alongside You,


  1. Heather, Thank you for YOUR honesty! I have a 13 year old. I find that there are times that I have trouble communicating in a loving fashion with him.

    1. God's grace is sufficient, especially in raising teenagers. Having two teenagers in the house again is surely a means of bringing me humbly to the throne of God!

      Prayers going with you during this challenge!


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